When it comes to resolutions, I have mixed feelings. Always made with good intentions, they can often be too difficult for me to follow long term or so vague that there’s no real direction. Instead of my typical ones like “Get Healthy” or “Lose Weight,” I want to commit to something important, something I have struggled with my entire life, and something I desperately need to change.
My New Year’s resolution is to eliminate toxic relationships.
There are a few people I deal with who consistently make me miserable. I dread interacting with them; I dread seeing their number on the caller ID; I dread their negativity; I dread their criticism; I just honestly can’t stand them!
Because I feel so close to my readers, I want to pour out each and every minuscule detail—not to attack these individuals, but because it’s so all-consuming and I love sharing my life and my thoughts with you guys. However, I recognize that it’s not my place to put other people’s private lives on display. I can say that one of these people is a relative, one is a neighbor, and the other is someone I’ve worked with. Beyond that, I’m hesitant to get more specific.
These three people have presented three totally different and unrelated sets of challenges. There has been endless anxiety, some tears, and a lot of frustration on my part, especially where a relative is concerned. After a lot of effort and disappointment and prayer, I realize that the situation is not healthy, it will not improve, and I don’t want to associate with any of them going forward.
Obviously, things don’t magically improve overnight, but I am trying to make concrete steps:
- With the relative – Not participating in her drama, letting her make her own life-altering mistakes, and no longer giving her money.
- With the co-worker – Finishing our last project and politely but firmly declining any future ones. Also, quitting a group we’re both in.
- With the neighbor – Cutting off communication and seriously contemplating a move. We started the process yesterday by looking at a few listings.
Life is too short to be swimming upstream. I don’t want to stress out about the height of a shrub. I don’t want to stay up until 4:00AM facing a 6:00AM deadline that someone else couldn’t be bothered to complete. And I definitely don’t want to be part of another person’s scams and schemes that always end in disaster.
I want to be healthy. I want to be happy. I want 2018 to be a time of growing, learning, and enjoying. I may continue to feel guilty anytime I say “no,” but I’m finally realizing that I have to say “yes” to myself first.
Did you make a resolution? If so, what was it?