High Holidays For The Unaffiliated

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With the High Holidays starting next week, this is a great time to discuss our plans. While most members of the Jewish community will be attending services and festive meals, not everyone has that option. Those who are Unaffiliated may feel totally isolated and excluded.

Who are the Unaffiliated? It could be a student away at school, a senior that’s in a nursing facility, someone that’s sick or disabled, military members, secular families, or Interfaith families. (Basically, any Jew without a congregation is unaffiliated.)

For the past few years, I haven’t been affiliated anywhere. After a very unpleasant experience serving on my temple’s Board, I became extremely disillusioned. That doesn’t mean I wanted to stop being Jewish or stop practicing; I just didn’t want to participate with that congregation. Until I find another one that I want to join, I’m left to left muddle through and figure it out on my own. Here are some of the things I’ve tried that may also help you:

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1. Watch Services on TV

The immensely-likeable Rabbi Golub has been broadcasting his High Holiday services on Shalom TV. I’ve watched it now for the past 3 years in a row and enjoyed it every single time. You get the feeling of being there without actually having to go! Also, you can watch when you want, instead of being forced into a designated time slot. Shalom TV used to be Video On Demand through cable, but it’s now available on their web site and Youtube.

For those of you who think it’s ridiculous to watch service without attending live, many temples offer free tickets for High Holidays. If you live in a metro area, there should be a variety of offers. Small communities are much more challenging.

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2. Enjoy a Special Dinner

This could be a typical Rosh Hashanah meal with traditional foods like apples, honey, and round challahs, or a non-traditional menu of any fun food you like. (I will be posting my menu if anyone needs inspiration.) Organize a dinner and invite family and/or friends. It’s perfectly ok to include non-Jews as well.

Set a beautiful table with a nice cloth, glassware, silverware, and crystal if you have it. Add a vase of fresh flowers. Make place cards. Anything that says “special” to you.

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3. Make a Resolution

Same as the Secular New Year, it’s always a fun tradition. Think about what you’d like to change in your life. Is it a bad habit? Or, maybe it’s something you’ve always wanted to try! Make a small, reasonable goal that’s attainable. Remember: each new year is a new chance to start fresh.

My resolution is to get on a better sleep schedule. I do ok with this for a little while and then I inevitably fall back into bad habits again!

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4. Listen to the Shofar

Whether it’s in person at temple or online, I think the Shofar experience shouldn’t be skipped. (After all, it’s the only commandment directly referenced in the Torah regarding the observation of the holiday.)

For those who are unaware, a Shofar is a curved horn taken from a kosher animal, usually a ram. It’s a symbol of spiritual reflection and awakening.

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5. Tashlich

Tashlich is the ritual casting away of sin. It’s done by tossing bread cubes into water while reciting prayers. It’s typically done on the first day of Rosh Hashanah. When I was growing up, our temple had a pond with fish in the backyard which was used for Tashlich, but any body of water is acceptable in a pinch.

 

How do you celebrate the High Holidays?

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