The following guest post was contributed by a lovely Israeli lady who has chosen to make America her home. Moving to another country is never easy. Ravit Dayan shares what challenges she has faced as an immigrant and offers some excellent solutions that can encourage all moms, regardless of where we come from. Her unique perspective is so beneficial.
I’m an Israeli stay-at-home mom living in the US. It was always a dream of mine to come to this country, and I’m so proud that I’ve built my life here. After arriving when I was 24-years-old, it’s been a busy and fulfilling 10 years. I have a loving husband, a beautiful 2-year-old son, and a baby due in September.
I love being a mother more than anything, and I receive so much joy from parenting. But, a question stuck out in my mind: “Do I have to live without a consistent dose of intellectual adult stimulation or challenge, whether from learning or conversation, just because I have prioritized motherhood?”
It can be difficult to make time for that type of fulfillment since being a mother with small children is never ending. It’s a lot of diapers, dishes, and sleepless nights. However, I made the personal decision that I could be a super-mom AND a career woman. I can do both: be the ideal mother and be intellectually engaged.
Since our networks aren’t deep here in the U.S., (it’s often isolating to live outside of the large Israeli networks like Miami, NY or LA) I personally began looking into online options. I decided to research getting another degree. (What a great way to engage with other students, learn new things, and expand my mind, right?)
But the dream didn’t last long. I soon found that getting a university education can be extremely expensive. Besides that, the enrollment process was tedious and time-consuming (and the last thing I have is time). They sure don’t make it easy for moms with dreams to go back to college!
My husband is an entrepreneur who’s grown accustomed through the years to hearing my many ideas. With this challenge in particular, he saw that the issue I was having was also shared by millions of people. He decided to launch a startup that could ease the burden. By providing help to get your first year of college free, parents like me can pursue our dreams while raising our kids. It was exactly what I was looking for.
Being a mom teaches us a lot. One learns how to challenge their child mentally, emotionally, and physically, how to be productive, how to shower in under 1 minute, and to appreciate coffee. It should also teach us that we can do everything we set our minds to, including personal goal setting.
Here are three steps you can take right now to improve your situation :
1. Learn Something New Each Day
Studies show that sticking to the same routine, day in and day out, results in decreased energy, low mood, and passivity. Over time, remaining stuck in a chronic rut can look like a lack of motivation or creativity, and feeling unfulfilled.
To counter the pull, commit to learning something fresh each day. Open the laptop during naptime and pursue that new hobby, new skill, or new career path.
2. Breathe New Life into Your Days
Keep new endeavors and learning ventures on the horizon. Research shows that our happiness spikes when we’re focused on a challenging task. Make time for fun. Try to enjoy whatever free moments you have. Yes, we are busy moms, but life isn’t supposed to be miserable. We all need things that make us happy, no matter how small.
3. Accomplish Something Concrete
When you’re stuck in a rut, the way out seems unfathomable. This perpetuates the rut. So how do you achieve something big when you’re busy battling sleepless nights, endless diapers, and mountains of laundry?
One way out is goal-setting. Even if it’s something small, accomplishing a measurable goal results in a dopamine spike to the brain.
From getting enrolled in school during an episode of Blippi, to taking educational courses during naptime, any milestone checked off is a confidence boost, propelling you to that next step toward achieving your life goals.
So that’s how I found something that works for me. That fits my (impossible) schedule. It feels good knowing that I can accomplish anything as a mommy, and that I’ve found ways to remain stimulated so far from my established networks in Israel. That I’m paving a life for myself beyond my kids. You can take the steps above and do the same!
About the Author:
Ravit Dayan is an Israeli-American and stay-at-home mom. She enjoys writing about her experiences, educating her son, and helping other young moms. In her free time, she runs one of the most popular Baby Shower pages on Instagram and works on the family startup, Online Degree.