Anyone who reads this blog regularly knows that I like to share relevant current events (both secular and religious). While I don’t consider TJL to be controversial in general, certain posts do seem to provoke a reaction. (Yes, I’m referring to Isaac Mizrahi’s shunning.)

One reader, in particular, was upset and accused me of “promoting homosexuality,” which I found really odd. (Just for the record: I don’t care what anyone’s sexual orientation is and I don’t promote or discriminate, regardless.)

I emailed her, hoping to clarify my position. When I explained that TJL is intended to be a safe space for Jews of all backgrounds, observance levels, and lifestyles, she became even more combative and denounced me and the blog as “Godless garbage.”

Harsh words, huh? I obviously disagree with her, but I’m trying not to take any offense. Like most people, I don’t enjoy being criticized. While I want to be liked and I want to get along, I also know that controversy is inevitable. The only way around it would be a blog totally devoid of opinions—something I can’t do if I want to be an authentic voice.

When a reader disagrees with me, I am forced to thoughtfully consider my original point of view. That provides a perfect opportunity to make sure I really stand behind what I expressed. In that way, the criticism is both challenging and motivating rather than hurtful.

If a post sparks lively discussion, that is a good and healthy thing, provided everyone is being kind. Online fighting, especially over ideology, is pointless, however, and I don’t want to engage in personal attacks or name calling. What I want to be doing is encouraging, equipping, and edifying other women. I want TJL to be a place of beauty, of blessing, of refreshment. I want readers to feel better, not worse, for being part of the community.

I’m very interested in what readers have to say. I’m here to listen/learn, as well as share. Please know that your opinion is important, even if we disagree. I can’t promise that I will always be able to relate, but I respect your views anyway. We can be real and respectful, right?

How do you deal with controversy?

While thumbing through my copy of Hadassah magazine’s Feb/March issue, I came upon an intriguing article about Isaac Mizrahi. Anyone who enjoys watching QVC will recognize him—for his colorful fashion designs, crazy hair, and extremely zany personality.

Born into a Syrian-Jewish family, Isaac was raised in Brooklyn and attended an Orthodox yeshiva. While he strongly identifies with his Sephardic heritage, he discuses why he left the Orthodox community:

“I had such a bad formative experience with the actual religion and its teachings. I was so mistreated and misunderstood in that yeshiva, and it was so unfair and wrong. I don’t want it to sound vengeful because I have a great life, but when I left it, I really left it behind. I didn’t look back. When I grew up you couldn’t be Jewish and gay. There was no way to reconcile those two things.”

When asked about his family, he replied:

“I have two older sisters I love dearly. They became very Orthodox and it continues to drive a wedge between us because they are not permitted to accept certain things about my life. I definitely respect who they are. But I feel shut out.”

Talk about terribly troubling and sad! I have been an Isaac fan for 20 years. I used to love buying items from his Target collection and watching Unzipped, a behind-the-scenes look at the prep for his 1994 collection, is hilarious viewing. He seems to genuinely love women and clothes and his mission is to make us feel beautiful.

Should such a good individual be shunned by the Jewish community, when he clearly has so much to offer? I say absolutely not! While I don’t expect the Orthodox to embrace his lifestyle, there are a ton of Reform congregations that would love to make him feel welcome (as it should be).

I truly believe that every Jew deserves to be recognized and accepted without reservation. So many members have been unfairly forced out, shamed out, and phased out; a needless practice that only hurts the community as a whole in the long run. Instead of division, we should be focused on unity. Instead of hate, we should be focused on love. Isn’t that the true meaning of community, after all…

What’s the best thing to do when you wake up in a bad mood? Have a nice breakfast, of course! I’m already on my 4th cup of tea and I had a little oatmeal earlier.

Folks, I am so anxious today, it’s unreal. Last night, yours truly rode home in a flat-bed tow truck with a guy named Fred. “Why” you ask? Because my normally reliable Pathfinder is broken! I should’ve known better than to go grocery shopping at 10:00 pm, in the rain, when I was already way too tired. I thought it would be quick and easy; oh, how wrong I was.

“Just grabbing a few items” turned into a major grocery stock-up. Unloading all the bags while getting soaking wet in the process was challenging enough; finding out that the car wouldn’t start nearly put me into a fit.

I will say this: Thank God for AAA! Within 15 minutes, help was on the scene. In the past, I’ve had to call them occasionally for a dead battery or a flat tire, but I’ve never, ever dealt with a hopelessly disabled car. I couldn’t figure it out, AAA couldn’t figure it out, so a tow to the mechanic’s garage was the only option.

I can’t even imagine what the estimate will be or how long I’ll be without wheels. There’s no way to change it, so I guess I shouldn’t be worrying about it. (Easier said than done.) Since I may be stuck at home for a few days, I’m making a list of chores/projects that have been on the back burner for a while. Maybe this will give me a good chance to catch up and slow down.

Hmmm…that doesn’t exactly cheer me up either.

Anyone else feeling grouchy? Share your woes.

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