Last night, during a couch surfing marathon, I stumbled upon a Kathie Lee Gifford documentary. I could only stomach it for 5 minutes, unable to tolerate her raving about her “perfect family” and how her childhood was “like a long, sweet dream.”

Seriously? With all due respect to Kathie Lee, she is either delusional or in some serious denial. “Perfect” husbands don’t have affairs with stewardesses while “perfect” wives pretend it doesn’t matter.

Perfect families simply do not exist…

My own family is a good example. Picture 25 Dr. Phil episodes rolled into one and you’ll get a general idea. Pretty much every societal problem has been experienced by someone I’m related to—divorce, alcoholism, untimely deaths, child abandonment, abuse, mental illness, questions of paternity, heroin addiction, foreclosure (and that’s just a beginning).

There’s a high likelihood that you too are part of a dysfunctional clan that bears more resemblance to The Osbournes over Ozzie and Harriet.

Families are complicated. They deal with many tough issues, some of which are scary, uncomfortable, and even downright awful. Nobody is better off pretending that each day is a bowl of cherries. I have far more respect for Mariel Hemingway, who is confronting her family’s troubled legacy head-on in Running from Crazy. Yes, it’s much easier to be a Kathie Lee ostrich clone, with our faces in the sand. It’s not, however, healthier.

Being honest is healthy. Acknowledging our problems and attempting to work through them is healthy. Seeking therapy, whether it’s secular or clergy-based, is healthy. (It’s so true when they say you’re only as sick as your secrets.)

We need to get over the fairytale image of what we want families to be and accept how they are. Preconceived notions of “perfect” children have left a beautiful baby boy stuck in Thailand without care. Is Gammy any less loveable because he has special needs? Not at all! Doesn’t he deserve a stable home with parents who cherish him? Of course!

Our family doesn’t love Charlie any less, even though he’s very sick and the cost of his medical care is astronomical. Many people simply abandon their pets when they’re no longer “perfect.” Charlie’s illness has only made Jackie love him stronger. She is the most dedicated advocate and caregiver I’ve ever seen.

Those who seek “perfect” families will inevitably end up disappointed. For most of my life, I struggled with other people not living up to my expectations. It was only when I let go of perfection and accepted “good enough” that I was able to find contentment.

Families don’t have to be perfect; they just have to be real. And that is a beautiful thing…

What an awesome anniversary Hungry Bear and I had! (The actual day is July 24, but the festivities change slightly year-to-year, based on our schedules.) For this anniversary, we decided to spend a fun day together, going someplace we’d never been before…

The Currier Museum of Art!

It’s hard to tell from the exterior, but the Currier is just gorgeous inside, and contains some very famous artwork—Monet, Picasso, O’Keeffe, Matisse, and Frank Lloyd Wright, to name a few. I have been to many art museums and the Currier holds its own nicely, offering much more than I expected for a museum in the not-so-cosmopolitan locale of Manchester, New Hampshire.

We chose the self-guided tour and went through a variety of galleries—Modern, European, Contemporary, Americana, and a Special Exhibition that changes every few months. (Currently, it’s “A Black Odyssey,” by Romare Bearden.” One of the paintings in the European collection was over 800 years old!

In addition to the paintings, we saw incredible sculptures, furniture, glassworks, and a super-cute silver tea set that I adored! (I like anything miniature.)

My favorite gallery was the European collection and Hungry Bear really liked the Americana. Neither of us liked the contemporary at all! “The Black Odyssey” was unique. It depicted the classic literary tale, substituting African-Americans for the ancient Greeks.

On a side note, the Jewish Federation of NH is located across the street from the Currier museum. At least it always used to be; I was saddened to see that the brick building is for sale and was completely deserted. The Federation does a tremendous job and I hope they can find a new building soon.

After a quick stop at the Gift Shop, we had intended to eat at the museum café, but it’s only open for lunch, and we got there too late (as usual). It’s a striking space, with a glass ceiling. As luck would have it, Hungry Bear’s dad was able to meet us for dinner elsewhere, so it worked out perfectly in the end.

Dinner consisted of burgers, fries, and catch-up conversation that was enjoyed by all. I have always been fond of Hungry Bear’s dad and the feeing is mutual. He’s a great guy, who spent 12 years in the U.S. Air Force and Air National Guard.

After dinner, we started the drive back home and this lucky lady was greeted with many presents! My gifts included a huge bouquet of pink and purple flowers, a necklace, and a hot pink yoga mat! I am so lucky to be with a man who tries to make me happy everyday.

Happy 3rd Anniversary, Hungry Bear! I hope we share a million more.

A desperately ill Chihuahua needs our help!

As many of you know, my sister has been agonizing over her very sick Chihuahua named Charlie. I first posted about this around Purim, when she was holding a fundraiser for his care. Many wonderful folks wanted to help and much progress was made! Unfortunately, it had to be temporarily stopped when he experienced new problems.

He is now back on track with daily medication and the fundraiser is active again! He desperately needs dental surgery, something that was put off for too long and led to kidney problems, due to bacteria entering the bloodstream. (The problem with tooth decay is that leads to a host of new problems: In Charlie’s case, it’s renal failure. Although we cannot turn back time and get his teeth extracted earlier, it’s never too late to take better care of our bodies and the bodies of those we are responsible for! He has been cleared for surgery, finally, after several months.)

Jackie has spent all of her savings on this little guy and his brother Chi, Oscar. I know many of you are die-hard pet lovers and may be able to help us get the word out! 

On a side note, I’m always taking about my sister’s amazing artwork. If you do not like to donate to crowdfunding campaigns, please consider making a purchase from her Etsy shop.

Charlie’s mama, aka My Baby Sis, is the world’s biggest animal lover. She’s not a lazy dog owner who ignored a medical issue. (When she adopted Charlie, he already had bad teeth and it’s only gotten worse.)  Because she is on a limited budget, she spent over 100 hours searching for financial assistance for sick pets. 

It’s going to take a village to heal this precious Chihuahua. We’re almost halfway there, and we can’t do this without the kindness of others. Please use the share buttons below to spread the word about Charlie’s Fundraiser and contribute if you’re able.

Feel free to add your well wishes and prayers for Charlie in the comments.