Anyone who reads this blog regularly knows that I like to share relevant current events (both secular and religious). While I don’t consider TJL to be controversial in general, certain posts do seem to provoke a reaction. (Yes, I’m referring to Isaac Mizrahi’s shunning.)
One reader, in particular, was upset and accused me of “promoting homosexuality,” which I found really odd. (Just for the record: I don’t care what anyone’s sexual orientation is and I don’t promote or discriminate, regardless.)
I emailed her, hoping to clarify my position. When I explained that TJL is intended to be a safe space for Jews of all backgrounds, observance levels, and lifestyles, she became even more combative and denounced me and the blog as “Godless garbage.”
Harsh words, huh? I obviously disagree with her, but I’m trying not to take any offense. Like most people, I don’t enjoy being criticized. While I want to be liked and I want to get along, I also know that controversy is inevitable. The only way around it would be a blog totally devoid of opinions—something I can’t do if I want to be an authentic voice.
When a reader disagrees with me, I am forced to thoughtfully consider my original point of view. That provides a perfect opportunity to make sure I really stand behind what I expressed. In that way, the criticism is both challenging and motivating rather than hurtful.
If a post sparks lively discussion, that is a good and healthy thing, provided everyone is being kind. Online fighting, especially over ideology, is pointless, however, and I don’t want to engage in personal attacks or name calling. What I want to be doing is encouraging, equipping, and edifying other women. I want TJL to be a place of beauty, of blessing, of refreshment. I want readers to feel better, not worse, for being part of the community.
I’m very interested in what readers have to say. I’m here to listen/learn, as well as share. Please know that your opinion is important, even if we disagree. I can’t promise that I will always be able to relate, but I respect your views anyway. We can be real and respectful, right?
How do you deal with controversy?
Yikes! I am so sorry that you have to endure being called names and insulted for expressing your opinion on your blog. I tend to avoid controversy among strangers because of this reason.
I just want you to know I appreciate your blog and I will continue to be a loyal reader. Why can’t people be more respectful of other people’s points of views?
Terri, thank you so much for those kind words. I’m glad to hear you enjoy the blog. In a perfect world, everyone would be pleased, but that’s just not possible. I’m going to focus on doing what I enjoy and not worrying about the haters.
If she has been reading your blog for awhile, she should know that you are a kind a considerate person who cares about others. I have felt your kindness and you always talk to your readers. I am sorry that you had to be treated unkindly, but keep up the good work.
Thank you, Julie! It’s comments like yours that encourage me to keep on blogging.
Dear Jewish Lady,
I think that distilled to a single simple message: We can all agree that G-d is love. G-d provides love and if there is one simple think for us all to learn on earth, it is to practice love.
I love you and your blog, which is filled with so much love for everybody. I mean that, because I feel the love you send us in your thoughtful posts and responses. I wanted to send you back my love and appreciation for you being true to G-d and others.
I am a gay man living in the Bible belt. I know what it is like to be condemned by haters who hide behind their Bibles, while they never seemed to have learned that G-d is love. If that is too hard for anybody to understand, then they missed the whole point of living. G-d is love. I repeat thay everytime I am confronted by haters and stone throwers. I feel sorry that they don’t know the love I do. Here in Houston, you don’t have to walk far to be confronted by hippocrates. But my family is here and I choose to be with them, when I could be somewhere better. They taught me that G-d is love and to feel love for others, and I am grateful for them as I am for you.
Big hug,
Danny
Danny, what an amazing comment. Thank you so much. I am sorry you are being mistreated by narrow-minded people. A person is much more than their orientation and every one of us has special gifts to share with this world. Obviously, you are a kind, giving, and loving person. It has always been my goal to make TJL a place that is based on faith AND love—not hate or exclusion. You will always have a place here and I truly value your perspective. I’ve never understood how someone can claim to be a person or faith and then judge others harshly. Actions count more than words! Many hugs back to you and I hope anytime you feel sad or excluded, you’ll come to TJL and soak up the love.
Big hug for Danny too!
I agree completely!