Ever since I hurt my hand earlier this summer, I’ve been struggling to stay organized. Despite months of healing, it’s still not 100%, with constant pain that limits my ability to get anything finished.

During a “normal” week, trying to keep up with cooking, cleaning, shopping, family life and blogging has been a challenge. Add in High Holiday prep and I’m really beyond my limits.

The thought of deep cleaning the house, intensive baking, finding everyone party clothes, new haircuts, trying to please relatives by accommodating their wishes/schedules—oh my, it’s just too much!

And, I’m embarrassed to admit that I also have a business trip scheduled for this week that I totally forgot about. (Booked back in April before the injury.) I’m supposed to leave on Friday, attend a 2-day conference, then grab a flight home on Sunday at 7:00AM, with Rosh Hashanah starting at sundown that evening. (Just insanity, I know.)

This was a reality check. I simply can not do what I usually do and I have to admit it, both to myself and others. I will not be cooking a holiday dinner. I will not be baking. The rest of the family will need to pick up the slack.

Yesterday, I paid Merry Maids for 6 hours of cleaning, and you know what, I don’t feel guilty. The dishes are done, the laundry is done, every inch of the house looks and smells clean. No more clutter. I honestly should’ve done it months ago. We can afford it, but I was being cheap and prideful.

I’m way past the age when playing Super Woman is appealing. We have to ask for help and delegate when needed. So what if the bakery is making the challah? Who cares if we eat a rotisserie chicken? It’s not the end of the world!

Very often in my mind, I have these fantasies of perfect holidays, with everyone happy, smiling, just the picture of domestic bliss. But it doesn’t happen in real life. Someone is usually sick with a cold. Another person is in a bad mood. Maybe we’re late to services or my in-laws complain that it’s not “how it was when I did it.”

Folks, you can’t give what you don’t have. This Rosh Hashanah, I don’t have the time or energy. Instead of trying to do it all, I’m letting someone else do it and that’s ok. There’s always next year; there’s always another holiday. I’d rather have a small celebration without making myself nuts rather than an elaborate feast.

5779 was not my most productive year. It was a year that I struggled in every single way – personally, professionally, emotionally, etc. I’m not sad to see it go. Instead, I’m focused on the future. Life is full of ups and downs. I pray that 5780 will be better, but no matter what happens, I have so much to be grateful for. I don’t want to miss the good stuff just because sometimes there’s bad stuff.

This week will be hard, no doubt about it. But I’m committed to keeping my attitude positive, staying calm and going with the flow. I’m not going to worry myself crazy, thinking of worst-case scenarios or beating myself up with guilt. I’m doing the best I can and that’s good enough for now.

To anyone else struggling with mommy guilt, please know you’re not alone. It’s hard for everyone. You are doing a good job, even if nobody acknowledges it. We should support and care for each other. Don’t blame and shame. Be a good friend. Offer to help another mom if you know she needs it. When it’s your turn, she’ll return the favor.