I thought today would be a good day. It started off well enough; I was up by 6:00 am and headed into the kitchen. Lately, I’ve been craving beef stew and I was excited to do some cooking. While the meat was browning, I chopped veggies, listened to the radio and drank some coffee. Everything was calm, and quiet, and there shouldn’t have been a problem.
Then, I discovered I was out of garlic. Immediately, I started panicking and having ridiculous thoughts:
Dinner is ruined…What a waste…I’m so dumb…
It didn’t matter that I had 99.99% of the needed ingredients. Because one was missing, I felt like a complete failure, and I no longer wanted to cook at all. If it wasn’t perfect, what was the point?
Throughout my life, I’ve struggled with these feelings. Growing up, I was surrounded by highly opinionated, extremely negative relatives who constantly criticized everything and everyone. I was often scared of being ridiculed and in turn, I dealt with it by becoming a perfectionist.
Even though I’m grown up now, and nobody is making demands of perfection anymore, the feelings remain. I still want life to be perfect. I want to look perfect, act perfect, I want to be perfect.
That desire for perfection causes constant struggle and puts me in a pressure cooker state of mind, trying to attain something that doesn’t even exist, and making me feel inferior because of a simple mistake that didn’t hurt anyone.
So, I took a 15 minute break and a deep breath, and went back to my cooking. I finished the recipe, minus the garlic, and it’s simmering away on the stove now. It looks fine and I’m sure will taste fine as well. Tons of worrying, for nothing.
I’m trying to let go of perfection. It’s a struggle, maybe one I’ll always deal with, but it’s worth the effort. If we want to lead authentic lives, we have to accept reality: Nothing is perfect and anyone claiming otherwise is just fake.
Oh I so agree. I want everything exactly so and when it’s not, I don’t react well.
I need to work on it!
It’s so hard to do, but I’m glad I finally gave up trying to be perfect! I just do the best I can and have fun doing it. I’m much less stressed now. 🙂
It can be hard! I realized long ago there is no such thing as perfection. Do what you can, and as long as you are happy it’s all well.
I am not wild about garlic, so your stew was probably perfect…for me! 😉
Oh,I love garlic…but it wouldn’t cause me to get into a tail spin. Glad you pulled yourself out of! I can be like that too sometimes and it’s really frustrating. Your stew will be amazing without it!
Hope the rest of your day is “awesomsauce” 🙂
I am such a perfectionist and sometimes have a hard time readjusting when things don’t go just right. Sounds like you made a great recovery!
being a perfectionist is tough!! I used to drive myself crazy too! A few years ago, I just realized, I can’t do it all – I just can’t and I am a bit better about things!!
I bet no one will notice the difference. Take a deep breath and try not to worry.
I spent so much time being perfect in my first marriage. Now i enjoy just being me. The real me.
My life has changed dramatically since I adopted the philosophy, “Done is better than perfect.” Perfection is impossible!
I like your Philosophy Lois Alter Mark. I’ve let go of the obsession with being perfect ever since reading ” Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”.
It definitely seems to be easier to focus on the one thing you don’t have vs the 99 things you do. I’ve felt this way with recipes before!
YAY for admitting that perfection is not necessary – I know I struggle with that.
I am that way about things around the house. I want things arranged the way that I want them. I don’t like it when someone comes along and changes something that I had perfectly set up.
I like to say I am perfect in all my imperfections, because that is how God Made me.
My husband suffers from this! 🙂 He is a great cook in the kitchen, but if he doesn’t have exactly every ingredient and the brand that he prefers, he’ll just quit. It makes me crazy! lol I’m much more of a “roll with it” kind of girl. It’s gonna be just fine…like your probably amazing beef stew! 🙂
I no longer have the desire to be perfect. I used to though, a long time ago.
Thank you for sharing this. This is right on time for me. I struggle with always making things perfect- which in turn causes more stress for me. Thank you for reminding me to let go of the perfection and work with what you have!
I know this struggle all too well for sure. I absolutely struggle with not being perfect and messing up. Thanks for this
This was so timely! I have to give myself two minute warnings to keep from becoming a mess if things don’t go my way! Grea reminder to stop trying to be perfect and to just “be”.