In what has to be one of the strangest custody disputes ever, a transgender member of the Ultra Orthodox community in England has been denied all physical contact with biological children. The Judge’s reasoning? The children and their natural mother will be shunned by their peers if it occurs. Calling the two lifestyles “completely incompatible” and stating the he had “real regret about the decision,” the Judge will only permit letters to be exchanged.
A rabbi, speaking for the natural mother, says: “it’s clear that being transgender, and undergoing procedures to achieve a sex change, violate a number of basic principles in Torah law.”
While I’d agree with the rabbi, I think is a very complicated situation that would take the wisdom of Solomon to solve (and I certainly don’t have a solution!). No matter what happens, these children will be hurt. Severing the relationship can cause feelings of abandonment, but having close contact will undoubtedly confuse them. As for the argument about being shunned? Knowing the Jewish community as I do, that’s a given. We are a wonderful People in so many ways, but we have an unfortunate tendency to be extremely judgmental. Maybe in a Reform congregation—and I stress the word maybe—a transgender parent could be accepted, but never, ever by the Orthodox.
Readers are welcome to weigh in. Do you think transgender parents should be kept away from their children?
Children are confused by divorce, should they be kept away from divorced parents?
I think all children need a mother and a father. It’s unfortunate that many are deprived of the love and care they need.
The only thing I can see is lots and lots of family counseling. Wendy’s right they’ll be confused at the absence of the parent. But you are right too their going to be confused either way. So lots and lots of family counseling and hope they’re not to young for counseling to help.
Absolutely! Counseling is very helpful during any divorce, especially the bitter ones.
Dumb, hateful, and ignorant. I’m gay and I’m a good mom. People need to respect LGBTQ. We love our kids just as much as you do.
Nobody is disputing that gay parents love their children.