“The coupon posts are embarrassing. You’re reinforcing negative stereotypes and make yourself look like a cheap Jew. Keep driving your Bentley to McDonald’s and eating off the Dollar Menu when there’s nothing you can’t afford. Pretending to be poor is pathetic.”
An anonymous reader left that comment, evidently enraged by my Thanksgiving and Black Friday shopping. I deleted the comment, but it’s been needling me like a toothache. After much thought, I do want to respond.
First off, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being frugal, getting the most for your money, and shopping smart. I buy on sale, use coupons and rebates, stockpile, and wait to make purchases because it’s the smart thing to do. Wasting money, piling up huge debts, and buying things you don’t need (and can’t afford) is just plain dumb.
If someone were to call me “cheap” without including “Jew” in the accusation, I wouldn’t be mad. To be honest, a lot of folks do think I’m cheap—including extended family members. The word “cheap” has a bad connotation to most folks, but I don’t personally find it offensive. I often use the term “Freebies and Cheapies” when sharing my deals on Super Savings Saturday.
From a financial perspective, do I have to save every single penny? No, I don’t. I have never claimed to be in poverty; I won’t deny that I come from a privileged background and that I’m fortunate to have a comfortable lifestyle now. That doesn’t mean, however, that I live in the lap of luxury, nor do I drive a Bentley. (Obvious sarcasm from the reader, but wanted to clarify anyway.)
McDonald’s isn’t my favorite restaurant, but I’ve certainly eaten my fair share of fast food. Some of these items, like ice cream cones and French fries, are value buys, but I would—and have—always ordered based on taste, not cost. Ordering the least expensive item on a menu, if you don’t like it, is pointless. Do I prefer to use Apps and coupons to find restaurant deals? Of course! But I don’t take 50 ketchup packets to refill a bottle at home because that would be ridiculous and yes, cheap in a bad way.
When someone uses the term “Cheap Jew” it has nothing to do with money and everything to do with anti-Semitism. Statistically, Jews are more likely to have a high income. That bothers a lot of people, particularly those who have a low income. What they don’t understand is that financial success is usually related to education. Jews are likely to have parents and grandparents who teach them about finance, leave them an inheritance, and help them get a career/degree/profession. If my family had been illiterate and indigent, odds are that I wouldn’t be successful now either.
So when someone tries to slur the Jewish community by claiming “You’d run into moving traffic to pick up a penny” or some similar nonsense, they’re displaying envy, jealousy, and confusion. They say “Jews own all the banks” or “Jews own the media” when that’s clearly not true. They think we live in mansions and drive Bentleys and other kinds of crazy stuff because it’s a rumor they heard somewhere, someplace, from someone who was equally ignorant.
By living on a budget and being careful with money, I am reducing stress in my life. I am doing everything I can to have a secure future. I am also honoring God by making good use of His resources (everything we own belongs to Him anyway, whether we admit it or not).
I have no idea what kind of financial situation that reader is in, but I bet they’re struggling, broke, and unhappy. Instead of accepting responsibility for their position, and trying to change it, they want to criticize someone else who—in their eyes—has everything and wants even more.
I am not embarrassed to use coupons. I am not embarrassed to talk about money. These are not offensive topics. I post about them because I want to share my life and interests, and also because I enjoy learning from my readers and hearing about their lives.
Money should never be anyone’s main focus. It’s certainly not mine. If someone lives differently than I do, that’s fine. We don’t always have to agree, but there needs to be common courtesy. If you call me “cheap,” I’ll laugh. If you call me a “Cheap Jew,” I’ll know you’re a sick person with a serious problem.
I don’t know how Bloggers stand this kind of negative shit. The nastiness is what stops me from having a blog. I don’t need strangers insulting me and picking my life apart. Screw them. I guarantee that reader wishes she was YOU. Jealous isn’t even the start of it.
The negative social media, comments, and emails so terrible. 7 days a week, without fail, something hateful pops up – even on days when I don’t post! Yes, this is a drag, but I don’t let it stop me from blogging and please don’t let it stop you either. The world needs good blogs to share a positive message! The trolls are horrible, but they won’t win.
Fuck them! And I wonder if she was a Christian. Would she refer to her Lord and Savior as a “cheap Jew?”
No clue what religion the commenter is, however, I’d guess an atheist. Anyone who truly has a faith and loves God doesn’t behave like that!
I’m sorry that some people feel it’s OK to speak that way. And I’m sorry that the political climate in which we currently live encourages such language.
It is a very uncivil climate right now, that’s for sure. Seeing people scream and swear at strangers in the street is just nuts!
ok I’ve actually never heard the words cheap and Jew used together before..I’ve always read how they are savy with money ….so, in the words of the other poster, f them lol… people are hurtful a lot of the time, and I hope you have a thick skin, and just roll your eyes at them instead
I do roll my eyes, but it’s also hurtful. Luckily, there are way more good people out there than bad.
I am in my 60s and learned a long time ago to not care what others think or say about me. I live my life for me and my family. I would not think of leaving the house without a shopping plan and my coupons. This has enabled me to help out my son and daughter and their families. The grandkids love to go shopping with me. They are able to get items they would not normally have. With savvy shopping the grandkids and I donated over $300 to Toys 4 Tots a few years ago. They loved it. I think I have passed on a valuable lesson to the kids about savvy shopping. You just continue to be you and thank you for all your tips!
Wow, you are a super shopper! I agree that we are setting an example for our family and the more we save, the more we can help others. You are right that other people’s opinions should never define us, but those mean people can really get you down.
OMG That is horrible. I hope you somehow were able to block this asswipe. Sounds like the normal Facebook bullshit. I am so sorry this jackass attacked you for no reason.
It was so hurtful. Unfortunately, it’s not rare to receive nasty feedback. The good thing is that most people are nice and say nice stuff.
Now, if you change your blog to just a regular shopping blog, you’ll be accused of being a Jewish American Princess. As my mother always says, damned if you and damned if you don’t… When you read this garbage, picture all of us fans smiling and waving in support of you and the blog!
You are so sweet! I know what you mean about damned either way. The non-stop criticism of Jews and Israel is unrelenting. We know the truth and we won’t apologize. Thanks again for your support.
Wow just wow… if you didn’t like the post why waste everyone’s time posting a snotty little hate filled comment. Just rude. I like your post, about what you saved & where. They motivate me to save more. There is no sin in using your resources wisely.
Some people are incredibly rude, I know. Saving money is a good thing.
As a Christian follower of your blog, that disgusting comment does not represent my beliefs. I am also a coupon user who usually only buys items when they are on sale and I look forward to reading your savings posts. I just wish that you’d post them sooner in the week so that I can take advantage of the sales too (lol). Have a great week!
I know 100% that a real Christian would never speak that way and I don’t lump people together. Real Christians are incredibly loving, giving, and caring people.
As for the deals, there are so many coupon blogs that I don’t want to repeat what they’re doing. If anyone wants my list, by all means, I share! I would also start posting early in the week what I’m planning to buy if there’s interest.
I’m Catholic. To quote Mindy above, “that disgusting comment does not represent my beliefs.” Keep on blogging your savings posts; I find them useful.
I love all of my Catholic friends and readers. You guys are super!
What an idiot. I call myself cheap because I don’t buy on impulse, I look for the best price and if it isn’t the price I want I’ll either wait for a sale or sometimes I just decide I don’t really need it at all. More power to you!
Great minds think alike 🙂
I am so cheap I squeak. I don’t know why people are embarrassed about saving money or using it wisely. Heck, I even darn my socks with holes if I like the socks!
Ignore the rudeness. I would revel in the fact you are a ‘ cheap whatever.they want to call you.
Around here the Danes are considered cheap (lots settled here) they were taught the value of money, and many were left farmland (hubby’s family had sold off before he was born) it is nothing to be embarrassed about. I laugh when hubby is haggling and the comeback is you must be a DANE because he is half Danish and haggles very well.
I’ve always thought that saving money and haggling is something smart people do. It’s not an ethnic thing! As for sock darning, you’ve got me beat! I didn’t know Danes were good hagglers but I’ve heard they’re very tall and attractive.
I once discovered, much to my horror and shock, that someone I considered a friend was anti-Semitic when she suddenly popped out of the puzzle with the expression “jew you down” despite knowing that my father is Jewish. Her defense of “well you’re not one of THOSE Jews” didn’t endear her to me. I stopped speaking to her that day and haven’t missed her a bit. It’s amazing how much ignorance and bigotry there is in the world. I am very sorry you experience it so frequently.
Oh, that phrase strikes chills in me. “Jew you down” is the rudest, nastiest thing ever! As if other ethnic groups don’t like to negotiate. Some people don’t even realize it’s offensive, which shocks me even more. In my “real” life, I don’t encounter it much, but people get very brave behind a keyboard and act ridiculous.
It’s a horrible phrase, as was her defense that I wasn’t one of “those” Jews. Which Jews did she mean?
Ok, that’s an excellent question. Are there “good” Jews and “bad” Jews? What’s the difference and who gets to decide? Stuff like this is a very slippery slope and always negative.
I am not Jewish. I am Catholic. I do many of the same things to save money. It does not make you or me cheap. It makes us thrifty and smart. That person is just jealous of you and wanted to get a rise out of you. They can be miserable and poor.
I would just delete them as soon as you know it’s the beginning of something nasty. People like that love it when it gets to you and know they’re upsetting you. Saving money is something everyone is interesting in doing. I have eight kids and am always looking for ways to save money so I appreciate those posts.
Hats off to any lady with eight kids! You are a superwoman in my book.