Author Archives: The Jewish Lady

Texas Jewish Community Helping Muslim Neighbors After Fire

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Contrary to popular opinion, Jews and Muslims in America are not enemies. Both communities deal with constant abuse and isolation. This should bring us together and a recent tragedy in Texas demonstrates how easily it can.

After a suspicious fire destroyed the mosque in Victoria, Texas, the local synagogue offered their space for worship. The mosque, which has 100 members, and the synagogue, which has 35, are located in a city of 67,000 people.

Three churches and an office space were also offered, showing that the entire community at large is pulling together and being good neighbors. I fully support interfaith activities and believe we must help others who are in need. This isn’t about favoring one religion over another or proselytizing; it’s about different faiths coming together as a human race to love, support, and encourage each other.

Despite the different ways in which we worship and the different beliefs we hold, all Jews, Muslims, and Christians have the same God. We are brothers and sisters in faith. Let’s stop the petty fighting and concentrate on what’s important.

As for the mosque, they’ll have no trouble rebuilding—over one million dollars has already been raised through GoFundMe. Pretty amazing!

Passover Savings at Dollar Tree

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This post contains affiliate links. I’ll be compensated if you click them. I was compensated for this post.

Planning parties is fun… paying for them certainly is not! Whenever possible, I try to save money by looking for bargains, especially on disposable items. Since everything at Dollar Tree is so affordable, I’m picking up lots of supplies for Passover. (Yes, I’m early, but planning way in advance cuts down on the chaos.)

One of the coolest features of Dollar Tree is that you can search by color. I found tons of bold blue items like dinner plates, dessert plates, napkins, cups, plastic utensils, crepe paper streamers, and plastic table covers.

For an accent color, silver is perfect. I love to tie a balloon to the back of everyone’s chair.

For most kids, the Seder’s high point is searching for the Afikoman. We like to hide multiples so that many children have the chance to find it (more winners equals less jealousy and complaining). Fun things to give away are bubbles, glow in the dark stars, stuffed animals, plush footballs, sidewalk chalk, etc. Obviously, no food items for this holiday, but most everything else is fair game.

Since the cost is much less than a Big Box store and I can order online, that ensures a lovely celebration with a minimum of fuss for this tired hostess. (Seriously, today is Purim and we already have another holiday to prepare for next month!)

Find the right items for your party at Dollar Tree.

Religious Mother Won’t Accept Son’s Trans Relationship – Who’s Right?

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Some of the questions that get fed to an advice column can be over the top, but this one takes the cake: In an article titled “How do I Introduce My Trans Jewish Girlfriend to My Christian Mother?” a man pleads for guidance.

Where to begin…

Honestly, I find the entire scenario a bit suspect. You have Judaism, Christianity, two races, and homosexuality involved with a single couple? That’s a stretch. Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that it’s a real couple, facing a real crisis. If only one of these issues was present, there could be conflict. Having that many simultaneously guarantees that the parents and kids will be at odds.

The columnist suggests being upfront and honest and scheduling a dinner for everyone to meet in a friendly way (good advice). He cautions that it may take the mother a long time to accept it and to give her up a year to acclimate. After that, if she’s still unwilling, “You tell your mother that you love her very much, but that you won’t be a part of family functions anymore if she can’t get over it. Basically, you tell your family, “If you want to see me, then you need to accept her.” No ifs, ands, or buts.”

Are you kidding me? This man should abandon his family in favor of a trans lover because they’re not “accepting” of a relationship that violates religious and cultural beliefs? That is absurd!

All parents want their children to be happy. The mother would only object if she feels her son is being harmed. Taking a position that she is somehow bad, or wrong, or insensitive may be trendy, but it doesn’t mean she’s prejudice.

God and religion are very important to most folks in the Black community and they should be applauded for that, not condemned. Asking the mother to accept someone that’s a different race and religion would be difficult for some; add transgender on top? Oh my, I can’t even imagine.

Certainly, the son has every right to date whom he wants. Even if the mother and the lover hate each other’s guts, he can still remain in contact with both, separately. Romantic relationships, particularly under these strained circumstances, often break apart quickly. Family ties, however, are usually for life. Unless the mother was an abusive monster—which he doesn’t claim—the odds are that she’ll be there long after the love affair has fizzled.

 

What would you do in this situation?

Purim is Not About Drinking Yourself Stupid

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While Purim is my favorite Jewish holiday, there is one thing about it that I dislike: An excess of alcohol, and the problems that can result from overindulging.

Because it’s the only holiday that actually encourages unrestrained drinking, many folks take it to an unfortunate extreme, especially the young people. This can cause dire consequences like car accidents, domestic disputes, property damage and unwise (possibly unwanted) romantic encounters.

There is nothing wrong with having a good time. We are meant to celebrate and enjoy ourselves. That doesn’t mean, however, that we can drink ourselves into a coma and pretend it’s ok. Many people have experienced firsthand what happens when too much alcohol is combined with too little common sense (it’s not pretty!).

All of the guidelines I’ve seen recommend no more than 2 drinks per day for women. Doubling that amount to 4 drinks during a holiday celebration may be risky. Tripling it would be asking for disaster, yet so many do it anyway. (Binge drinking, in particular, is even more dangerous for the mind and body, and puts you at greater risk for physical harm.) 

Anyone who is hosting or attending a party needs to be extra careful. The cost of a taxi or an Uber can literally save a life. There is never, ever a reason to drive drunk! Pay attention to those around you. If someone seems unsteady on their feet, or confused, or is vomiting, they need immediate attention. I once knew someone who passed out after a wild night and tragically asphyxiated in his sleep. That sort of accident is almost entirely preventable.

And, let’s not overlook, the large number of alcoholics in every community. Individuals who are problem drinkers should not be left unsupervised while the punchbowl is full. It’s always smart to offer soft drinks and water for anyone who may need it or simply prefers it.

I don’t say all of this to be a killjoy. I say it because a fun time can turn into a tragedy in the blink of an eye. Have a glass of champagne, by all means, just don’t make it an entire bottle.