After 30 years behind bars, Jonathan Pollard is set to be freed later today. Convicted on espionage charges for passing classified information to Israel while working for the U.S. Navy, Pollard has long been a matter of controversy—here and abroad.

Opinions in the Jewish community vary. I’ve heard him called everything from a traitor to a hero. Either way, everyone seems to have strong feelings about him, his case, and what it represents. According to Elliot Goldenberg’s The Hunting Horse, Pollard was always driven by ideological reasons and was lured by rogue Mossad agents that used him. His (many) detractors claim it was about money and nothing more.

Personally, I do think it was ideology (yes, he received some cash and gifts, but Pollard has always been a committed Zionist, and that was his main focus). Regardless of his motivation, what he did was 100% wrong. He violated his security clearance knowingly, fully aware that he was committing a serious crime. That said, giving him a life sentence was unbelievably harsh. I don’t condone his actions, but I think he is entitled to a parole and will not pose a continuing threat.

The thing that has always bothered me most about this case is the old
“divided loyalties” argument. Because Pollard is Jewish and he passed material to Israel, it only perpetuated the false stereotype that Jews care more about Israel than America. So not true!

Each individual Jew is only responsible for their own actions. Pollard’s choice was his and his alone, and the community shouldn’t have to suffer because of his mistake. For decades, he’s requested to leave America and resettle in Israel with his wife. {As a side note, Esther Pollard is incredibly fascinating in her own right. They couple met and married behind bars and she has been a tireless advocate on his behalf, giving endless interviews and maintaining a website.}

Due to federal parole rules, he can’t leave the country for a minimum of 5 years, and the Obama administration is refusing to intervene—pretty much guaranteeing this circus will continue. I expect to see interviews, a book deal, and maybe a movie. Sometimes I think the Pollard case will truly never end…

One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is finding the perfect gift for everyone on my list. I look for things that are practical but still fun, things that the recipient will use over and over again. Occasionally, I will give cash or a gift card, but I’d much rather hand them a beautifully wrapped box with a big bow on it! It always seems more special to me. Here are my top picks for 2015:

For the mommies:  Gehman’s Country Fabrics nursing slip

Finding a nursing slip that’s both functional and fashionable is nearly impossible! (Seriously, try looking for one in the stores; it’s not easy.) I love this version because it has adjustable straps, lace trim, and comfy elastic that doesn’t bind. Nylon and cotton versions are available and the size range is huge—both length and bust are customizable.

For the Hanukkah fanatics: Sonora Menorah

I’m addicted to collecting menorahs and this cool cactus version from Sonora Menorah is my current obsession. Handmade in Arizona, it is a functional piece of art that’s not only adorable, but also useful (enjoy a little piece of the desert, no matter where you live). It’s affordable enough to buy multiples and would work well if you want to give your rabbi or kid’s Hebrew school teacher a little something.

For the beauty mavens: Michael Todd True Organics Soniclear

I was fortunate enough to receive a free Soniclear to review and it has become a cherished part of my routine. Granted, these are expensive, but having the softest, smoothest complexion I can get is priceless, right?! When I wash up before bed, I use it after cleansing and I can feel it removing any excess dirt/makeup/impurities. The experience is similar to having your teeth cleaned at the dentist—a buffing sensation that feels a little weird but the after effect is awesome.

For the special critters: Leela Ryan dog treats

If I don’t keep these on hand at all times, I have some very cranky Chihuahuas to deal with! Each organic treat is made from real fruits and veggies and come in amazing flavors like Berry, Apple, and Banana. Oscar can easily eat an entire bag by himself and still beg for more. I usually give in because they’re so healthy.

In addition to the above, I have other gifts that I’ve picked up and stored throughout the year—mostly things that were on sale like toys from Target’s annual clearance, cosmetic freebies from the drugstores, etc. I don’t set a strict budget per season or per person, but I don’t advocate going crazy and definitely not going into debt. By keeping it reasonable, everyone can enjoy a special day and not worry about a huge bill coming a month later.

What kind of gifts do you buy? Any “Must-Have” item for 2015?

I’m always amazed by the things I hear from my readers (getting to know many of you through social media, comments, and email is terrific!). One such reader, who wishes to remain anonymous for an obvious reason, shared something that I found downright horrific:

She was “slut shamed” by members of her own temple!

It’s hard to elaborate because I don’t want to break the confidence. We have emailed at length, and she is allowing me to say only that she is a single mother with 3 children from 3 different fathers—something other members took issue with. Neither she nor her children felt comfortable or wanted in the community and have recently left that temple. Devastated, she summed it up by stating: “I now believe most religious people are hateful.”

This makes me so sad, it’s hard to find the right words. First off, it’s nobody’s business. Our marital status, family status, work status, and everything else is not supposed to be fodder for gossip. Each person is different. Some have had easy lives, while others struggle non-stop. Neither is better or worse, and certainly nobody should be ridiculed. The community is supposed to embrace one another, regardless.

I know in reality it’s not always like that. I have personally witnessed things like my reader described. I recall one lady in particular at a temple I used to attend. She was a college student and unwed mother who happened to have an interracial daughter. They both came to the monthly potluck dinner, but had to leave early before the Family service started. Everyone was sweet as sugar to her face, but the second she was gone, it was a full-on attack. The worst comment of all came from the Vice President who referred to an innocent little child as the “N-word Baby!” (No joke, it’s impossible to make that up.)

Folks, these are not religious people. I don’t care if you attend temple weekly, keep the Sabbath, and only eat kosher. If you’re spreading lies, hurting others, and being generally awful, it’s just an act. A truly religious person believes in tolerance, mercy, being charitable, and giving love.

We have to stop gossiping, shaming, and excluding. I have always believed that the high number of unaffiliated Jews are caused by lack of opportunity rather than a lack of desire. If temples became the nurturing places they’re intended to be, maybe former members would become current members.

If you’re going through a similar situation and feel ostracized and alone, please know that everyone is welcome here. I want TJL to always be a safe space where differences are embraced and everyone is equal. If you can’t find a temple or other Jewish outlet, consider this a virtual one to express yourself.

Have you had a hateful encounter with someone claiming to be “religious?”

Can you believe that Hanukkah will arrive in only 38 days?! I’m planning my gifts now, and at the top of the list is a Sonora Menorah.

The majority of Jewish homes have at least one menorah (the traditional, silver variety); I actually own several. While I love a classic, I also crave new designs to freshen my holiday décor. I’ve seen many different kinds of novelty menorahs before—sports theme, high-heeled shoes, seashells, etc. They’re all adorable, but never have I seen one as unique as the Sonora Menorah; it’s a Saguaro cactus!

This remarkable creation was designed by husband-and-wife team, Eliot and Mickii Cohen. After moving to Tucson, they became familiar with cacti and have loved them ever since. Seeing them as living, spiritual entities, with a shape reminiscent of a menorah, they set out to make a beautiful symbol that celebrates a place and a people.

Thanks to their hard work and ingenuity, no matter where in the world you live, a piece of the Southwest can brighten your mantel or holiday table. Here in New England, the weather is often cold and snowy during Hanukkah, and I am so excited to have a little bit of the desert (especially since we don’t have cacti growing up north)!

They also have a wonderful sense of humor, evidence by the company motto: “Forty years in the desert and this is what we found.” Funny, huh?

Each menorah arrives snugly and safely in the box pictured above. Inside, you will find a hand-painted delight that’s truly one of a kind. It’s made from a hard composite material that’s very sturdy (important with clumsy kids and pets that knock stuff over constantly). Metal inserts are supplied to help keep dripping/scorching to a minimum as the candles burn down.

Currently, Sonora Menorah is having a Pre-Hanukkah sale. You can buy one today for 40% off. (It’s worth every penny.) I know that my family will be enjoying ours for many years to come!