James Franco has proven you’re never too old for a Bar Mitzvah. Earlier this month, the actor celebrated his own at age 37—24 years later than usual!

While some are dismissing it as publicity stunt, I think it’s most likely a sincere gesture of faith and I can’t applaud it strongly enough. Since popular opinion is greatly influenced by Hollywood, this will definitely raise awareness about the option of adult Bar/Bat Mitzvah and may encourage others to have their own belated ceremony.

Just because most boys and girls do it at 12 and 13 doesn’t mean it’s wasted on the middle-aged (on the contrary, in all actuality!). Those of us who grew up in a Jewish household take the concept of Bar/Bat Mitzvah for granted, but there are many reasons why someone may not have had one in their youth: lack of affiliation, lack of funds, lack of interest, being the child of an Interfaith couple, etc. 

Many people seek out religion as they age. Once we develop our own ideas on spirituality, what seemed insignificant years earlier can become very relevant and the longing for a ceremony and what it represents becomes important. Knowing that Bar/Bat Mitzvah is available to you can mean a world of difference for a Jew by birth or a Jew by choice.

Just as we’re never too old to learn to read, or swim, or drive, we are never too old to find spiritual fulfillment. I’ve often said that the Jewish community is not doing enough when it comes to outreach. Unfortunately, many members are judgmental and want things to be done “as they always have been done.” That argument has gotten us nowhere and could very possibly  hurt future growth.

What we need to do is foster a sense of openness, inclusion, and personal freedom. Nobody should ever be discouraged from a Bar/Bat Mitzvah because of age! Because no matter how young or old an individual is, their special moment is a joyful event and should be celebrated by all.

Do you support Bar/Bat Mitzvah for an adult?

I’m always amazed at how opposite men and women think. Seriously, it’s like trying to communicate with an alien sometimes! Around here, our latest conflict involved Sukkot, specifically about building a Sukkah.

Never, in my entire life, have I had my own Sukkah and I’ve always thought it would be a fun family project. Since fully-made kits are available online that snap together in mere minutes, it wouldn’t even be that difficult. When I ran this idea by Hungry Bear, he was not only enthusiastic, he wanted to kick it up a notch: buying wood and supplies at Home Depot and building it from scratch.

Having known him for many years, I’m familiar with how handy he is and I know his motivation level when it comes to starting projects around the house. (Ask me about the 10 others that still aren’t done.) I’d define his skills as average. He, however, would insist he’s a pro—based upon the amount of tools he’s bought at Sears, owning a Black & Decker repair manual, and having watched endless hours of Home Improvement reruns.

Deep in my heart, I just knew it would be a disaster…

On Labor Day, he actually bought everything, stacked it neatly in the garage and said he’d start building the weekend before Sukkot. Fair enough, right? So I said nothing and the time went by until it became last minute. The day before the holiday started, he hadn’t hammered even one nail!

My snap together kit, which he claimed “lacked imagination” could’ve been assembled quickly; his custom job would’ve taken hours—hours he wasn’t willing to put in and I certainly can’t build anything on my own.

The vision I had in my mind, of a pretty structure I could string lights on, and decorate with fruit and flowers, was dashed. The nice foods we could eat inside a Sukkah wouldn’t be possible. The warm family memories we would’ve created were not to be.

The end result? NOTHING, except harsh words and tears. I guess you can call it “The Sukkah that wasn’t…”

Yom Kippur is the most important holiday of the entire Jewish calendar. It’s also the most difficult (for me, anyway). I’m emotionally and physically taxed, there are no festivities, plus, everyone seems to be a bit grouchy and full of complaints.

Obviously, a lot of this has to do with fasting. Traditionally, those who are healthy should be fasting for an entire 24-hour day. There are exceptions to the fasting rule, however.

• Pregnant/Nursing mothers
• Diabetics
• Young Children (10 and under.)
• Anyone who’s ill and/or needs medication taken with food

To be totally honest, my own family was never strict about it. Everyone would skip breakfast before temple services in the morning, but many would take a snack after that. I think fasting is a personal choice, but it should be attempted if at all possible.

Provided you can fast and are fasting, though, it’s bound to be a l-o-n-g day. When you finally do get the chance to eat, it’s even more headaches on deciding where to go and what to serve. In the past, we’ve done different things: break-fast meal at the temple, having breakfast for dinner at home, getting takeout or pizza, celebrating at a friend’s, etc. All of these options can be okay, but I find waiting until the last minute, especially when I’m starving, is a bad idea.

Enter the concept of a cold dairy buffet. Because everything is bought or prepared in advance, it greatly simplified my planning. No matter how late we arrive home, no matter how exhausted I am, within 10 minutes I can have dinner ready.

Here are my top picks for a Break-the-Fast menu:

• Bagels (assorted dozen) and cream cheese
• Lox
• Egg salad (for kids who don’t like fish)
• Marinated cucumbers
• Honey cake

For our family, a small, simple buffet works perfectly. If I’m serving a larger crowd, I’ll add in more choices like challah in addition to bagels, a green salad, and a kugel. The key is to focus on plain, non-spicy, and not overly salty foods after a fast.

How do you Break-the-Fast?

The past few days have been a whirlwind of holiday prep—shopping, finalizing the menu, cleaning everything, and enduring 90 degree heat (so unusual for September in New England!).

I’ve made a big decision to shake up the food. A typical Rosh Hashanah menu around here would be either Atlanta Brisket or Roasted Turkey. We enjoy both of these main dishes, but I am craving something quicker, lighter, and healthier.

Since we won’t be having any guests and it’s just the family, I feel comfortable planning something different. If we were hosting a large crowd as we’ve done in the past, I probably wouldn’t, since most people expect a traditional menu for holidays.

Here’s what I’ve decided on:

• Salmon  (prepared simply with lemon & dill)
• Baked potatoes
• String beans  (sautéed in a garlic butter)
• Round challah
• Apple slices dipped in honey
• Mandelbrot, served with ice cream

Since I’m using the oven for the fish anyway, it will be easy to start the potatoes first and then finish everything at the same time. The challah I’ll buy, the Mandelbrot is already in the freezer, and the string beans can be sautéed just before serving.

I’m sure this menu seems very basic to some and not festive enough, but for me, while I love the traditional foods, I don’t have the time/energy/ambition to do the whole shebang this year. I’ll still set a pretty table with a nice cloth and china, and we’ll enjoy using our favorite Judaica like the Shofar and the Challah Cover and we’ll enjoy being together as a family, which is the most important part, right?

What about you? Are you serving a traditional menu? Would you ever consider straying? Let me hear your thoughts on Rosh Hashanah foods!