Do you have trouble remembering the dates of upcoming Jewish Holidays? (Uh, yeah…) Make life easier by signing up for a reminder.
Los Angeles Jewish Home has a fantastic email service.
Prefer a phone App? There are lots of freebies here.
Need it on paper? My Jewish Learning has a 5-year calendar good thru 2018.
The third installment of this series on The Unaffiliated Jew will cover Intermarriage.
In a perfect world, every Jewish Princess would find her Jewish Prince; in reality, that just doesn’t happen…not for most, anyway. The current statistic claims that over 70% of Jews have, or will, Intermarry—for those under 30, the odds are even higher!
Many—most?—members of the Jewish community, particularly seniors, are horrified by those numbers. It’s hard to accept that the Reform, Conservative, and Reconstructionist communities are literally dying out. (The Orthodox are an entirely different matter; they almost uniformly do not intermarry.)
Interfaith marriages between Christians and Jews seem to follow a strange pattern: the Jewish partner adopts Christian habits and abandons their own practices. Instead of Hebrew School and High Holidays, it slowly morphs into Easter egg hunts and Santa. Some even attend Church services with in-laws. In extreme cases, they will even allow their children to be baptized!
Take the talented singer, Idina Menzel, as a typical example. In the December 2014 edition of Redbook magazine, she offered this interesting quote: “My love for Christmas came when I started dating Taye [Diggs, her ex-husband]. One of my fondest memories is how we celebrated. We’d put on holiday music and decorate a tree. I wanted to be a good shiksa girlfriend. Everything was always white, crystal, and coordinated. I was making a Jewish girl’s Christmas tree!” (Could there be a bigger oxymoron than a “Jewish girl’s Christmas tree?” I seriously doubt it.) In addition to the interview, she was pitching her new Christmas album.
If this is what interfaith marriage is supposed to be, then yes, the Jewish community has an enormous problem on our hands. Not only has Ms. Menzel decided to become Christian, she has also neglected a prime opportunity to introduce her partner to Judaism. Think how easily the process could be reversed, with Taye Diggs learning to embrace Jewish holidays and customs.
Intermarriage isn’t a problem, it’s an opportunity…
I don’t believe for a second that we as a community can stem the tide of Intermarriage. Yes, encouraging people to marry within the Faith is great, but it’s not enough. What we should be doing is welcoming Interfaith couples and families with open arms. We need to offer relevant seminars and more group activities. We need to—dare I say it—-encourage conversion.
Yes, I’m well aware that conversion is not only discouraged, but looked down upon by many Jews. Because of that, we are contributing to our own demise. As a group, Jews are an aging population. Jews tend to marry later in life and have fewer children. Plus, we will never make up for the losses accumulated during the Holocaust (there are less Jews on earth now than there were in 1939—scary, I know). As a result, we’re suffering from a huge population deficit.
When Interfaith couples are given the respect they deserve and a sacred space to grow and be nurtured, they will want to be part of the Jewish community. Their children will be educated and encouraged. The Gentile spouse may feel so inspired that he/she wants to convert and join our ranks for all time.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a Jew by birth, or by choice! Everyone has unique abilities and gifts to contribute. Full Inclusion can only make us better and stronger as a community. I support conversion 100%. I am in favor of removing the mystery and streamlining the process. Perhaps my opinion is controversial, but radical measures are necessary to avoid a calamity.
Do you support open and active conversion in the Jewish Community?
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Would you relocate if offered $50,000? The Jewish community of Dothan, Alabama has turned a hypothetical into reality for 10 families—and yours could be next!
This audacious initiative was started in 2007, by a local resident who was willing to pledge $1 million dollars of his own money. Like many smaller congregations, Dothan was suffering from a major lack of growth (only 100 Jewish residents were present in 2000). Rather than accept the “inevitable,” they got creative, and turned a dwindling population into a thriving hotspot of Judaism in the rural South.
Many people had never heard of Dothan, let alone realized a Jewish community existed, due to its remote location.
As expected, the relocation campaign spread the word, and they were inundated with inquiries—some from as far away as England. Naturally, the main questions were about eligibility and awards.
Here’s what the $50,000 in compensation consists of:
* Relocation – moving and resettling ($7,500)
* Housing – primary residence ($7,500)
* Temple Emanu-El membership ($1,000)
* Repaying outstanding educational loans ($15,000)
* Small business seed money ($15,000)
* Children’s private secular K-12 education ($7,500)
* Other outstanding financial obligations ($7,500)
Pretty generous, huh? Well, it’s not a blank check. Dothan is looking for qualified families, who are interested first and foremost in being active participants. A five-year minimum commitment is crucial. If you want to contribute your unique gifts and abilities and have a pioneering spirit, I’d encourage you to apply! If you’re looking for free cash, forget it!
The screening process is in depth, but fair. Applicants will need to pass background/credit checks and submit personal and Rabbinic references. An in-home consultation with follow. After that, you will need to visit Dothan in person to meet the community. Because this is such a large undertaking, the move needs to be a good fit for both sides.
To date, the program has been a success. The congregation now has 70 families, up from only 30. The religious school—the lifeblood for growth—is up as well. There are a wide variety of activities that extend beyond the religious, including a popular bowling league.
Dothan is bucking the trend of distinction, in a way that should inspire small congregations around the country. I personally support them 100%! If more temples were willing to offer similar incentives, it could start a revolution. Rather than funding ridiculous, useless projects like building funds, Dothan is funding people, and that is what Jewish life is all about.
Would you move to Dothan—or anywhere!—if paid to do so?
Recently, I had the chance to experience Jeff Gold’s “Simple Treasures—a soothing instrumental album that should be called a masterpiece of relaxation!
I first listened to it last Tuesday, while I was hurrying through my Hanukkah preparations. Between trying to cook a brisket, frost sugar cookies, set the table, and find missing candles for the Menorah, I was super stressed out! All day long I had been running, rushing, and worrying, yet within 5 minutes of hearing this incredible music, I was much calmer. I stopped all of my work, made a cup of tea, and sat at the kitchen table. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, letting the music wash away my tension, and bring me to a better place.
“Simple Treasures” contains 12 amazing tracks:
* A Song for Sydney
* Prairie Song
* First Snowfall
* Walking Oz
* I Do
* Healing Pool
* Eye Towards the Sea
* Skating
* Simple Treasures
* Day’s End
* Sweet Dreams
* Spring Green
Until you listen to Jeff’s music personally, it’s hard to understand how healing and melodic it is! While I enjoyed the entire CD, my favorite was A Song for Sydney. The hour I spent listening to his unique blend of piano, flute, guitar, and strings was a true joy!
“Simple Treasures” would make a wonderful soundtrack for any quiet activity like meditation, yoga, Reiki, hypnotherapy, or prayer. (Like me, Jeff is Jewish and I can feel a definite Jewish thread/connection to his music. Listening to his songs while I pray enhances my spiritual awakening, and I would recommend this to everyone in the Jewish community!)
Another group that would greatly benefit from “Simple Treasures” are Special Needs children and their parents. As the uncle of a Special Needs nephew, Jeff has lovingly created music that can assist with their unique set of challenges. (I plan on sharing this with my friend who’s the mom of a son with ADHD and Autism. She leads an incredibly stressful life and needs a reminder to take it slow and breathe!)
To find out more about Jeff Gold and his amazing music—including free downloads!—check out his website.