It is a well-known fact that most American Jews now consider themselves Unaffiliated. What exactly does “Unaffiliated” mean? Does it mean unobservant? Maybe. Does it mean a lack of interest? Possibly. But what it definitely means is that the overwhelming majority can’t find a community that speaks to—or for—them.
There are many issues that have caused this crisis. In the coming days, we’re going to discuss most of them.
While Jewish leaders willingly lament about the growing issue of the Unaffiliated, it always amazes me that nobody wants to discuss the dreaded “M” word—MONEY.
Yes, money keeps many Jews from affiliating. There’s a pervasive myth that all Jews are wealthy and have endless supplies of extra cash to give temples, federations, charities, etc. While it is true that most Jews are highly-educated and high-earners, not everyone in our community is flush.
I personally know many Jews who are flat-broke—due to divorce, unemployment, and illness. I know Jews who have houses in foreclosure. Years ago, I knew a Jewish family that lived in a car, after the father lost his business. I know Jews who use food pantries. I know Jews who don’t attend High Holidays, because they can’t afford the tickets. I know Jews whose kids were pulled from Hebrew School because they can’t pay the tuition.
How do I know this? Because I used to be a member of my Temple’s Board. I saw, with my own eyes, people who were dying to participate and turned away, simply because they couldn’t afford it. I saw an individual, who attended services weekly, be told that he couldn’t start a committee because he wasn’t a “member.” (Shocking, huh? Needless to say, I do not subscribe to that bizarre mindset and I’m no longer a member of that particular temple.)
That, my friends, is an outrage. You don’t have to pay to join this club, you were born into it (or converted). Your value in the Jewish Community shouldn’t be based on dues and donations. Someone who attends services weekly is much more of a member than someone who writes an annual check.
We can’t, in good conscience, turn anyone away—not when we have so few to begin with. Yes, temples need funding, but do we really need buildings the size of museums, over-inflated salaries & budgets, and a shameful amount of discretionary waste? If we’d accept more modest conditions, it may not be such a strain to pay for them.
Have you been disconnected from the Jewish Community due to money? How have you suffered because of it?
Can’t afford it but wouldnt pay even if I could. No temples here are LGBT friendly. So tired of being abused and excluded.
I am SO SORRY you were treated poorly! Nobody should be mistreated in that way. I will definitely discuss how gay individuals and families within the Jewish Community are being excluded. Please know that here at The Jewish Lady, nobody is ever excluded or made to feel like they don’t matter. You are always welcome. This is a supportive forum for all.
Great post. I can sympathize with those Jews who are flat-broke, and I applaud your sentiments and your service. For what it’s worth, I’ll mention that every Temple I have ever belonged to, or have ever considered joining, has stressed that no one will be turned away because of lack of ability to pay, although I’m sorry to hear that not all Temples apparently operate this way. I can honestly say, though, that my own personal reasons for being unaffiliated have less to do with money and more to do with belief. I struggle with a lot of what’s in the liturgy and, while I want to remain connected to the Jewish community, it’s hard to sit in a room for an hour every week and say things I don’t necessarily believe.
Ezra, I couldn’t agree with you more. Money should never be a barrier when it comes to religion. As for the liturgy, I think many of us struggle with that and I will certainly discuss it in additional posts. I personally don’t think attending services is the only way to remain connected. I also want to find new, more meaningful ways. Very insightful. Thanks so much!